1.  A Great Spin on a Classic Joke

Q: How many estate agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None! “The lightbulb is in excellent working order and comprised of a beautiful retro teardrop illuminator, offering original glass and metal features and located very centrally in the middle of the room. Local amenities abound and the property is serviced by a newly refurbished power cord connecting it to the ceiling. Nearby is a tasteful power switch to enable the purchaser to switch it on and off. Leasehold with share of power supply with lovingly improved wattage by the current owners. Would suit a professional couple or family looking for more light.”

2.  A Dirty Little Real Estate Joke

What’s the difference between syphilis and medical office space? You can get rid of syphilis.

3. The Texan Ranchers

Two Texans were sitting at a bar having a drink. The first one says, “My spread is so big that it extends to the horizon”. 

To that, the second one says, “Well, my spread is so big that if I get in my car in the morning and drive all day, all night and most of the next day, I still don’t reach the end”. 

At that point, the first one looks at him and says, “Yeah, that’s what you get for driving a Kia”.

4. What a Catch

I’m getting married to a luxury realtor tomorrow. He’s so dreamy. Check out the diamond engagement ring he sold me.

5.  Take Me To Your Contractor

What do great affordable contractors have in common with UFOs? You always hear stories about them, but no one you know has actually seen one.

6. This Lawyer Must Be Amish

A lawyer who had 12 children was in a tight bind because his rental agreement was coming to an end, and he was looking for a new home. He could not easily find one because no one wanted a tenant who had 12 children who would most likely destroy the house.

Since he was a lawyer, he could not easily lie about his family situation. So on the day a new real estate agent came to meet up with him, he told his 11 children and his wife to go to the cemetery.

During the interview, the real estate agent asked, “How many children do you have?”

He answered truthfully, “Twelve.”

Seeing he only had one beside him, the agent curiously asked,“Where are the rest, then?”

The lawyer answered with a sad look, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

And that’s how his agreement was signed, and he was able to rent a new home without lying.

7. ZZZZZZZZ

What does an appraiser’s wife say if she can’t sleep? “Honey, tell me about your day at work.”

8. The Head Hunters

“I need a raise in my commission,” the real estate agent said to his manager. 

“There are three other companies after me.” 

“Is that so?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you?” 

“The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”

9. The Real Estate Planning Officer Joke

Q: How many planning officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Six! Four to write an extensive study recommending a three-way 100/200/250 watt lightbulb, one to write a newspaper press release praising the study, and one to put in a 10 watt bulb instead.