Day: October 3, 2024

Share Your Best Post: Let’s Connect!

I am perusing my posts from the past.  This one from November, 26, 2015 has the most likes and comments ever! What is the magic?  Is it because we all know the pain of dieting and excel in self-critique?  Thse are funny cartoons, but not the funniest I’ve ever seen.  It is great to see people in their private moments with their mirrors.  We all cherish our foolish moments.  What is your best post ever? It’s ironic that this post required no skill on my part.  Go figure!  Feel free to link.  I often wonder how my friends are faring.  Please link and comment!

diet 1 diet 2 diet3 diet4 diet5 diet 6 diet7 diet 8 diet9 diet 10

To AI or not to AI?

Out of Place

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

A few years ago I went to a Thanksgiving dinner hosted by an extended family member. The relative I usually visited with at that party hadn’t made it due to illness. All the men clustered in an animated conversation about trucks, hunting, farming, and fishing. The conversation was interesting but every seat in that room was taken. I opted not to sit on a random lap.

The cousin group set up in the large dining room carrying on a lively cousin discussion. Every seat in that room was taken as well. Should a person leave their seat , it was immediately filled. It wouldn’t have been right to dispossess a cousin when they were catching up from the past year.

Finally, I found my perfect place at the sink. I washed mountains of plates, dozens of glasses, and sinks full of silverware. I scraped serving dishes and scoured baking dishes to my heart’s content. No one competed for my spot.

Finally, I secured permission from my host and took a dish of turkey scraps to the dog where I got the most enthusiastic welcome of the day. I found a true friend at last.

Funny Lawyer Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

lawXmas-cart-2lawyer-cat A divorce court judge said to the husband,”Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week.”
“That’s very fair,your honour,” he replied. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.

The physician said, “Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”

The engineer replied, “But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”

Then, the lawyer spoke up. “Yes,” he said, “But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”

“You seem to be in some distress,” said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?”
“Well, your Honour,” said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.”

To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their
accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.

 

A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “you can’t come in here… you have to go to the other place”. But the lawyer was really good and pleaded his case to the point where St. Peter said, “OK… here’s what I’ll do. You will spend the same amount of time in hell as you did on earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here.” The lawyer figured this wasn’t too bad of a deal, so he said “OK”. St. Peter said, “Great… I’ll see you in 350 years.”. The lawyer said, “But, how is that possible… I’m only 65 years old!”. St Peter said, “We go by billing hours”.

 

A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney “that will be $400.00.” The attorney became irate “What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that’s ridiculous!!” The plumber replied, “I thought the same thing when I was an attorney”.

You Used to Be Beautiful!

Kathleen Holdaway in flowered dress0002One warm afternoon in late May, 1960, Billy and I were lying on the living room floor as Mother reclined a few minutes with her feet up wearing the heavy surgical weight stockings the doctor had ordered. She was six months into a difficult pregnancy with her last child,and was supposed to be off her feet. She had spent a good portion of the morning tying to keep an eye on her fourteen-month-old, Connie, while trying to coax twelve-year old Phyllis and me at ten to do a little housework, help with Connie, and even get a little work out of seven-year-old Billy, while keeping him out of trouble. Phyllis was watching Connie. We were all terminally lazy, slacking off at the first excuse. None of us had any intention of doing anything we could avoid.

As we dawdled at her feet on the floor in the draft of the attic fan, one of us pulled out an old photo album. I quickly found a picture of her made her senior year of high school, the peak of her youth and beauty. “I graduated thirteen years ago today,” she remarked smilingly.

In my infinite wisdom, I proclaimed, “Oh Mother, you used to be beautiful!”

I turned for her smile, only to see a snarling, slobbering, swollen beast ready to pounce on me in rage! “”Used to be beautiful! Let’s see what you look like when you have five kids in twelve years! Put this stuff up, right now. Linda, you take your smart mouth and get those dishes washed. Phyllis, you put a pot of beans on for supper. Billy, you…”

By the way, this is not the picture in question. That one mysteriously disappeared

Pumpkin Butter

It is the time of year people start to crave pumpkin: pumpkin coffee, pumpkin coffee creamer, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie. I didn’t realize until a few years ago that decorative pumpkins, the kind used for jack-o-lanterns weren’t intended for cooking. Canned pumpkin is much better in recipes.

I made pumpkin butter today for Mother and her friends at her independent living facility. I found it rather endearing that one of the lovely ladies asked me to make some, knowing I love to can. It is a very simple recipe.

Crock Pot Pumpkin Butter

4 29 oz. cans pumpkin

2 lbs. light brown sugar

4 tbs. Pumpkin Pie Spice

Mix all ingredients in crock pot. Cook on high 3-4 hours till flavors blend. You may add more pumpkin pie spice if desired. Put in clean pint jars with clean flats and rings. To process, put in rack in deep pot. Cover tops with at least 1 inch water. Bring to a full boil and process at least 15 minutes. Put jars to cool on rack or cutting board. Tops should pop and depression in lid should snap down as they cool. Makes 8 pints.

This makes a wonderful gift!