If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?
If I had a million dollars to give away. I would probably give it to St. Jude. They do so much good and save so many lives. I am grateful for all they do.
Million Dollar Gift
Day: October 10, 2024
Navigating Life with Seniors: Lessons Learned
I wonder if I do a lot of “old person” stuff? It’s probably one of those things your kid would have to tell you. Let me explain. After we went to the grocery store, I took Mother to Gateway to pick up her car. She took her small bag of groceries with her and went in to pay and get her keys while I waited in the lot off to the side, To be sure everything worked out okay. I knew I should have gone in with her. A few minutes later, she pulled behind me, blocking me and two other drivers. As the other drivers honked, Mother left her car in the drive and came over to talk to me.
“They just had to fix the front brakes. The back ones were fine! It only cost one hundred twenty-one dollars.” She was beaming.
“That’s great, but you need to move your car. People are honking!”
“Well they’re just gonna have to wait. I have to get my groceries.” She replied, huffily.
“Mother, you already put your bag in the car.”
“Oh, I forgot. Anyway, I had to tell you everything was okay.”
Annoyed at my nerve, she got in her car, pulled out and cut it too short, running over the curb as she pulled out.
About fifteen minutes after I got home, I got a call, “Could you see if I left my phone in your car. I can’t find it, anywhere.”
She had.
Excellent Blonde Jokes
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded, “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.
“No, from skipping.”
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, ” Officer, I’m so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!” The officer looks at her, then says, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener.”
A blond to a bartender:
Blonde: A glass of the greatest Less, please.
Bartender: A glass of what? Is it the name of the foreign beer?
Blonde: I don’t know, my doctor advised me to drink Less.
The conversation between two blondes:
Bl. 1: I’ve heard that Christmas will be on Friday this year.
Bl. 2: Well, I hope it’s not on Friday the 13th!
Q: What do you call a blond who dyed her hair brown?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What is the name of a blonde who has a brain?
A: A golden retriever.
A blond girl was caught by a blonde policewoman for overspeeding while driving a car.
P: Please, show me your driving license, ma’am.
B: What is a driving license?
P: Something that has your face on it.
A blond girl shows the policewoman her mirror and tells her:
B: Here it is!
P: Wow, I didn’t know you were also a policewoman.
Two blond women are going to Disneyland by car. One of them saw the sign “Disneyland Left”. They no longer headed to Disneyland. They just turned the car and went home.
The conversation between two blondes:
Bl. 1: I did a pregnancy test yesterday. The answer was negative.
Bl. 2: Why negative? Were the questions too difficult?
Lou and Lynn Part 7 Behind the Scenes of a Family Meal: A Story of Help and Harmony
”Lynn, I need you and Lou to watch Connie while I make the cornbread and put the chicken on to fry. I want to get it done before the baby wakes up. Maybe Lou can help and y’all can get the table set. Don’t forget to wash your hands. Around here, everybody has to pitch in or we won’t get supper till midnight. When Daddy gets home we’ll have to talk about your grandma, Lou.”
“Yes Ma’am” said Lynn. She balanced Connie on one hip while she washed her hands. “Come on , Lou. Wash up.”
Lou was surprised to be put to work. Mom wouldn’t have done that but she did want to eat. Lynn handed out mismatched plates and pointed out the silverware drawer. If you’ll put a plate and forks and spoons out, I’ll get glasses. Then we’ll take Connie in the living room to play.
Lynn set Connie in a big cardboard box in the middle of the living room floor and tossed a few toys in. The tiny girl played happily.
”Why do you have to work so much?” Lou asked. “Does it make you mad? My parents do most of the work.”
”I have to help. Since the babies came along, Mother can’t do it all. We never would get supper if she had to. I have to do dishes after supper, too. Then, I’m done. I wish Mother had gotten a dishwasher instead of another baby.” she laughed.
The aroma of the fried chicken coming from the kitchen was wonderful. Just then, then barking of the dogs announced an approaching vehicle. Lynn looked out the door. “It’s Daddy and Billy!” She called out to Mother.
”Just in time!” Mother said. “Pour the milk and help me get supper on the table, girls!” Lynn put Connie in the high chair and gave her a couple of crackers. Connie went to work on them.
Billy came bursting in the front door. “We sold all the pigs and got some goats!” He shouted, slamming the door behind him.
“Wah!” An angry wail sounded from the back of the house.
“Oh no! You woke the baby. Now I won’t get to eat. How many times do I have to tell you not to slam that door!” Mother tossed her dish towel on the counter and got the baby. “Lynn, do you want to finish getting supper on the table or take care of the baby?”
“I’ll get supper on the table. Come on Lou.” They loaded the table with a platter of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, beans, and cornbread. The last touch was a dish of butter. It smelled wonderful!
Daddy came in the back door. “Good, supper’s ready. I’m starving! I’m going to wash up. Everybody get to the table.” Everybody took a place. “Billy, did you wash your hands?”
”Yessir.” said Billy, holding up wet hands.
”Well, dry them on your napkin and say Grace”
Everyone bowed their heads as Billy prayed.
“God is great.
God is good.
Let us thank him for this food.
Amen. Can I have a drumstick?”
”Amen!” said Daddy. “Son, didn’t you get a little ahead of yourself?”
”Yessir.” said Billy, passing his plate. Daddy took the baby while Mother served plates.
Daddy turned to Lynn. “Lynn. Who is your friend?”
”Daddy, this is Lou. She was riding with her grandma when they got caught by a storm. Her grandma disappeared. We went up to talk to Miss Betsy. She said she’d pass the word to the neighbors but we haven’t heard a peep.” Lynn had covered the story.
”That’s quite a story. There must be more to it.” He turned to Lou. “Can you tell us anything else? People don’t just disappear. Exactly what happened?”He sounded stern.
Lou felt like she’d done something wrong. “There’s nothing else to tell. One minute she was there. The next she wasn’t”
”I don’t know about that.” Daddy said. “ Everybody eat while your food is hot. We’ll talk about this more after supper.
To be continued:
A Glimpse into Historical Language: Dialect Words Explained
When I was a kid I was fascinated by the dialect of those of my grandparent’s generation. I am referring to family members born between 1884 and 1887. Their language was unique and intriguing. Manners were much stricter then and children were forbidden to interrupt. I learned to listen very carefully and inferred meanings from their use in context. Should I not be able to interpret, save the word until I could ask my parents. Language was intoxicating. I’ll share some from my collection below, used in context, the way I learned them.
Airy: “Airy(any)one of them tablecloths will be fine.”
Nairy: “Nairy(neither) one of them is worth the powder it would take to blow them away.”
Na’arn: Ain’t na’arn(none)of them gals acting right.”
Et: “I et(ate) all I could hold.”
Het: “She got mighty het up(angry) when her man run off!”
Heared: I just couldn’t believe it when I heared(heard) it!“
Holp: Holp(help) me with
Holpt: He holpt(helped) us quite a bit.”
Fur piece: It’s a fur piece(quite a distance) over there.”
Tolerable: I’m feeling tolerable.” (not well, but better)
Fitten: That slop ain’t fitten(good enough) for the dogs.”
Thanks for: Thanks for(please pass)the beans.”
Cyarn: That place smells like cyarn.” (Carrion)
Pert’near: He ought to know better than that! He’s pert’near (pretty near) grown!”
Young’uns: They got all them young’uns(children) to feed.”
Chillun: All their chillun(children) eats dirt.”
Farred up: Too late for talking. He’s all farred upready to fight.”
Passel: “Oh, they got a passel(a lot) of hounds under their porch.”
Nutsrok 