A monkey one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.
As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
“Wow, this is great,” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight.
Lots of other monkeys, all free and nibbling on bananas. “Hey,” he called. “I’m a monkey from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped.
Are you wild monkeys?” “Yes. Come and join us,” they cried.


Our friend trotted over to them and started eating the bananas. It tasted so good. “What else do you wild monkeys do?” he asked. “Well,” one of them said. “You see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.” This, he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.

Later, he asked them again, “What else do you do?” “You see that tree there? It’s got papayas growing in it. We eat that as well.” The papayas tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full.

“It’s fantastic out here in the world” he told them. 
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked. 
“I’m sorry, I had a great time but I can’t.” The wild monkeys all stared at him, a bit surprised. 
“Why? We thought you liked it here.” 
“I do,” our friend replied. “But I must get back to the lab. I’m dying for a cigarette.”

Best Monkey Jokes for Saturday Night

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.He orders a drink and while he’s drinking,the monkey jumps all around the place.The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then he jumps onto the pool table,grabs one of the billiard balls,sticks it in his mouth,and to everyone’s amazement,somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy,”Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No,what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table …Whole!”

“Yeah,that doesn’t suprise me,” replied the guy,”he eats everything in sight, the little bum.I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”

He finishes his drink,pays for his bill,pays for the stuff the monkey ate,then leaves.
Two weeks later he’s in the bar again,and has his monkey with him.He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.He grabs it,sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted.”Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks.
“No, what?” replied the man.

“Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his but,pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t suprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.”