Day: October 27, 2024

Family Member.

Describe a family member.

My sister-in-law is the nicest person I know. She is intelligent, witty, and a joy to be with. She never takes cheap shots at people. She is not self-righteous but doesn’t judge me when I say something smart-alec. I just love her.

Lou and Lynn Part 20 Aunt Julie’s Adventure: Rescuing a Scared Puppy

Aunt Julie came by early one morning to bring Aunt Kat some sweet potatoes. She invited Lynn, Lou, and Billy to go home with her and spend the night. Aunt Kat agreed, sending the kids to gather their things. “Yippee!” shouted Lynn. “Sue is my favorite cousin!. We’ve never had a single fight! We’re gonna have so much fun!” Lou was all for it. She knew Grandma was not likely to be back soon. Besides, she knew Grandma would find her. Billy was just as excited. He and Troy never got tired of each other.

When Aunt Julie headed for home, she pulled over on the side of the road near a little bridge. “You kids be quiet. Somebody put a precious little dog here and I’ve been feeding it everyday. I want to take the poor little thing home with me but it’s too scared to let me touch it. You can watch but don’t scare it!” As soon as Aunt Julie put the dish of food down, a cute little dog ran out from under the bridge. It nervously edged closer and closer, finally getting close enough to gobble the food hungrily. Aunt Julie knelt down, beckoning to the little dog. It wagged its little tail and whined but was too afraid to approach.

“Maybe he’ll come for a kid. Come here, Lou.” Lou stood next to Aunt Julie quietly. “Kneel down real low and stretch your hand out low to the ground. If he approaches, let him come to you. Don’t move a muscle.

Lou did just as she was told. The puppy edged toward her a step at a time. Lou held her breath. Finally, the little fellow licked her fingers, then quickly backed off. In a minute, he got his confidence up and tried again. After about three times , he let her stroke him. He rolled over and let her rub his tummy. Finally trusting her, he let her pick him up, licking her face excitedly. Lou’s heart was pounding. “He trusts me!”

”Yes, he does.” Said Aunt Julie. “I had a feeling he’d like you. Now let’s get him home. He’s covered in fleas and ticks. You did a great job!”

Lou had never felt so proud. She’d literally rescued a puppy! He snuggled down in her lap and went right to sleep, fleas ticks and all. She tried not to notice them. He was so sweet.

Finish the Story #6

Sixteen year-old Stephanie worked at the local Acme Supermarket. She wasn’t working there to earn enough for a cell phone or save for a car. Her father had died of suicide a year ago. Along with their heartbreak, the family was left impoverished since his life insurance didn’t pay off.

Her mother worked at the local garment factory at a low wage and took her eleven year-old twins with her to clean a couple of houses on Saturdays. She also drew social security.

Stephanie had great sympathy for other struggling families. In her misguided sympathy, she sometimes didn’t scan some of their groceries. One day the suspicious manager caught her.

Finish the story:

Lying Jokes

A man buys a robot that slaps people when they tell a lie.

He decides to test it on his family at dinner that night.

The man asked his son, “Son, what did you do after school today?”

The son replied, “Oh, I just did some homework” and the robot slapped the son.

The son said, “Okay I actually watched a movie with my friends”.

The father asked, “What was the movie?”

The son said, “Star Wars, Episode 5”. The robot slapped the son. The son stammered “Okay it was Showgirls”.

The father laughed, “Ugh, I would never watch movies like that”. The robot slapped the dad.

The mom laughed, “He certainly is your son”. The robot slapped the mom.

Don’t lie to the cops

Man gets pulled over by the police.

“Sir have you been drinking?”

“Yes. 7 beers, 5 shots of tequila and about 4 glasses of wine.”

“I’m going to ask you to take this breathalizer test.”

“What! You don’t believe me?”

The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.”

I replied, “Well, tell him he’s really good – I haven’t got any kids!”

I lied about my age

A 60 yr old Billionaire came to the Bar with his gorgeous 25 yr old wife!

Friend: “How did she marry you?”

Billionaire: “I lied about my age!”

Friend: “You said 45?”

Billionaire: “No! I told her I was 90”

Horrible lie

The preacher rose with a red face. “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family!” 

No one moved. The preacher continued, “Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in our heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression!” 

Again all was quiet. 

Slowly a ‘drop dead’ gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets.”

Southern Baptist Dinner on the Grounds: A Culinary Tradition

My favorite days in my Southern Baptist upbringing were “Dinner on the Grounds” after church. On these rare and glorious days, all the women brought their finest dishes to be spread out on picnic tables, or in earlier times, tablecloths or quilts on the church lawn. Competition was fierce to be recognized as the best of the best. People strolled among the entrees, choosing foods that looked the tastiest.

Fried chicken was the most popular offering but the aroma of mouth-watering meatloaf beckoned the hungry. Chicken and dumplings tempted ravenous worshippers. Huge bowls of potato salad, greens, and homegrown green beans with slabs of bacon made a show. Squash casseroles, sliced homegrown tomatoes, cucumbers, homemade pickles of all kinds, and sliced onions tempted the adults. No self-respecting kid would have wasted stomach room on vegetables when there was fried chicken and dessert to be had. Of course, there was homemade rolls, biscuits, and cornbread to be slathered with butter.

Dessert tempted even the pickiest eater: chocolate, coconut, pineapple upside down cake and pound cake vied for attention. Tables groaned under the weight of lemon meringue, chocolate, apple, and sweet potato pies. There might even be a mock-apple pie. Finally, there might be homemade vanilla or peach ice-cream, the favorite dessert of them all.

After lunch, men congregated to discuss farming, fishing, or politics. The women gathered around picnic tables to discreetly nurse or rock their babies while gossiping or discussing their husbands or children. Of course, dresses and babies were admired. They might tacitly calculate the date a new wife’s baby was due. This could be discussed at leisure at morning coffee with friends later in the week.

Hysterically happy children ripped about the churchyard and cemetery after dinner. Initially, parents tried to curb them but usually gave up and let them race about as the heavy lunch took its toll on parental energy. There would be howling kids and skinned knees as the afternoon dragged on. By the time clean up was complete, play weary children’s whining and irritability made it clear that the festivities were nearing their end. Women promised to exchange dress patterns and recipes while men said their farewells. A wonderful afternoon would be at its end.

Finish the Story#5 Update

Ben and Kelly had been married seven years with three children. He was a CPA with a large firm, a very lucrative position. Kelly was a registered nurse. Kelly had to work alternate weekends so she wasn’t as involved in church activities as Ben. One day he announced to Kelly that he intended to leave home s CPA position, attend seminary, and become a minister.

Finish the story:

I got several very different but interesting responses. Can you relate to any of theses?

joannerambling
joannerambling.wordpress.com
joanne62_04@hotmail.com

What the hell Ben, you’re Catholic and Catholic priests can’t be married, Ben replied I said minister not priest, I don’t intend on telling them I’m Catholic, so you’re going to become a minister in a different religion and just not tell them you’re Catholic and attend mass weekly are you going to continue to go to mass? 
Ben took a deep breathe and said yes I will continue to go to mass, Kelly just looked at him like he was out of his mind, which he must be unless this is some kind of joke. Yes Kelly thought this is some kind of joke he can’t be serious, so I will play along. Ok if this is what you truly want I will support you. 

So when will you be going off to the what did you call it a seminary and how long will you be gone and do they pay you while you are there learning how to be a minister? 

Ben said he didn’t know he was going to find out more the next day, Kelly said ok just let me know and do we have to sell the house and do you get a car like you did with the job you had because you can’t drive mine, I need it.

Ben looked confused and said let me find out more and we will talk about it later. Thinking to himself what the hell and I getting myself into.

Anyone know what comes next………

It never occurred to me they might be Catholic! What a twist!…..

Dawna
lovelifewithdawna.wordpress.com
lovelifewithdawna@gmail.com
172.89.197.189

Kelly was stunned to say the least. She knew with Ben as a CPA and her as a nurse they could live a very lucrative life. She told Ben that perhaps he should rethink his decision, after all she said, we could donate more financially to the church if you continue on as a CPA and the church could really use the funds. “Ben” she said, “please rethink this. You can keep on volunteering and you could even get a little more involved in the church. Become a assistant pastor.”

“I can’t do that Kelly, God has called me to a higher calling.”

“But all the years of schooling you’ve already done. What about our dreams to buy our forever home? What about having children and traveling? You becoming the coach of little league? What about our dreams?” Kelly asked as she held the tears from overtaking her. 

“Kelly, I have to do this. I understand if you want a different life, but I am committed to the church and to God.”

‘I am too Kelly shouted! I am too. I just don’t know if I want to be a preachers wife. This is something that never entered my mind. Lots of great and amazing people attend church and are involved, but they don’t all throw away their careers and lives to become preachers.”

“My mind is made up Kelly, I’m doing this.”

“Well Ben, I sure do hope they can teach you there in that seminary school that when you are a married man, you don’t just make life altering decisions without talking to your spouse. I hope they teach you that as a husband you need to consider your wife’s feelings and work together in coming to a place you both want to be. I hope they teach you that you can still give your all to God and the church without being a pastor or minister.”

Ben thought about what Kelly was saying. He looked at her and he began to cry. Ben took her in his arms and begged her to forgive him. They fell to their knees and Ben began to pray out loud pleading for God to hear his prayer and to give him guidance. Ben petitioned God in prayer and he thanked Him for the blessing that was right in front of him, his wife Kelly. 

It was in that moment that Kelly took Ben’s face in her hands and in the most loving voice told him, “follow the path that God lays out for you, no matter what that path is. I will support you and stand by you. I love you.”

Tamyra Miller
simplelifecare1.wordpress.com
tammiller1971@icloud.com
50.96.33.95

At first I think she was in shock. She didn’t understand his desire because she worked and didn’t attend church with him.
Hopefully she accepted it after much discussion with him

This was another good one!

Looking for the Light
LookingfortheLight.blog
msandorm@icloud.com
47.187.202.104

Kelly slapped him across the face, what does he think he’s doing making a life change of that magnitude which affects the kids without discussing. Then she asked him to sit down and explain his plan, where is the money coming from, how is he going to replace the missed income, does he plan to go to school out of state and who the hell is going to help with the kids. Whne Ben could not answer a single question, Kelly said the plan was on hold and that he can start to get a feel of what giving your life to the church is like by volunteering twice a week. I like strong smart women!

A couple of men weighed in.

Ernie ‘Dawg’
dawgydaddyresponds.org
ernestfederspiel13@gmail.com
174.84.206.31

Divorce papers were soon filed and Kelly’s settlement paid her way through college to receive her doctors degree.

davidprosser
barsetshirediaries.wordpress.com
dmfpro1@gmail.com
80.43.8.61

Kelly rightly informed Ben that her salary alone woul not be enough to support their family and she could not do more hours without the family suffering. She asked that Ben reconsider his change of job only when the children were no longer dependant and thre was no oustanding mortgage on their property. At that time she said she’s be more in a position to support his move to the Ministry. Ben agreed that his timing was perhaps not right and would delay any decision until their children no longer needed his financial imput and their education was complete. He would continue to offfer support to his church at his current level until a change was viable.

I loved all these responses. It’s interesting how everyone sees the situation differently. I would have had a hard time being supportive of supportive of a husband choosing to go into the ministry. I don’t think any man interested in the ministry would want me as a partner. Lots of times I’m the last to know what’s about to come out of my mouth. I’d probably get us both tarred and feathered.

These are all wonderful writers. Please click on links to check out their sites. Thanks to all of you.