My Inventions

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

I have invented a few nifty things. Sadly, some smart-alec always beat me to it. I invented a nesting meatloaf pan with holes in the bottom to drain into its companion pan below. Next, I invented a counter-top kitchen computer for recipes and all kinds of cooking information. Ditto!

Finally, I got smart and started looking on Amazon before putting too much effort into my inventive plans. Most of the time my items are already on there and can be delivered tomorrow.

I need to sue Amazon for idea theft.

21 thoughts on “My Inventions”

  2. Here’s mine: Tell any musicians you know who have upper plates that if they have a small sound hole drilled in the center they’ll be able to sing even better than they did when they were young adults. The plate’ll get better suction and stay in better, too, and they’ll be able to wear it longer without worrying about fungus growth.

    Ask me how I discovered that, if you want a truly unlikely story some time.

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      • Aside from the nerve die-off which leaves all the remaining ones doing double duty, the bones and connective tissues of those who suffer from post polio syndrome fill up with holes, rather like those of a sponge.

        My teeth, as a result, were always yellow and so soft that the nighttime use of an ordinary retainer was enough to dent them visibly.

        I kept them intact with mineral supplements until I found myself homeless. After that, with the poor nutrition and constant fear and strain, it only took them a couple of years to melt away.

        During that time of homelessness, while working on my book on the subject, I spoke with a Taoist practitioner who taught me a self healing and elevating exercise involving tongue pressure upon a gland in the roof of my mouth.

        Inner/outer results were sufficiently impressive that I practiced it diligently while I finished the book.

        As soon as it was complete I found myself in a state whose public insurance covered denture work. As a most feminine female I was thrilled. Until my angelic counselors said, “Don’t.”

        You can probably imagine how hard it was to stick by that directive, but I did.

        One morning, months later, I awoke to inner tidings of the reversal of that command. “Go ahead, now,” they said.

        That very day I had an appointment with my nurse practitioner. She pulled a Post-It note out of her pocket and handed it to me.

        “Call these people,” she said. “They’re dentists, just opening shop.”

        Being a lifelong veteran of public medical programs, I knew this meant that the new office was filling its schedule with public patients only until it could develop a private patronage, and I jumped on it ~ to find myself in a ve-e-e-ry upper crust establishment (two story lobby, right?).

        Not only were they able to custom fit my badly misaligned facial bones, but also were willing to put a small hole in the palate to accommodate my desire to continue practicing that Taoist healing exercise.

        It wasn’t till after I found a guitar and started singing again that I realized I’d actually ended up ahead of, rather than behind, my performing game ~ that sound hole took all the deadness out of the polymers.

        That nurse practitioner, when I told her later where I’d gotten my denture, had no memory of the dentist or that Post-It note, either. But I’m still wearing the plate…

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  4. I would invent a duvet cover with velcro fastening all the way round so I wouldn’t get in a mess trying to stuff a great big duvet into what is basically a great big bag.

    What would I un-invent? Nuclear weapons, so I could stop having nightmares and start having more peaceful sleep, even if the duvet is a lumpy mess inside the cover.

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  5. I would like to invent a duvet cover with velcro fastening all the way round so I wouldn’t get in a mess trying to stuff a great big duvet into what is basically a great big bag.

    What would I un-invent? Nuclear weapons, so I could stop having nightmares and start having more peaceful sleep, even if the duvet is a lumpy mess inside the cover.

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  7. LOL Now, you are very creative to have thought of those things, even though you found them on Amazon. I once invented a disposable toothbrush with toothpaste already on it for travel, but it was done, too. I feel your pain.

    Hugs and Happy Saturday!

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