Easter egg hunts with my cousins were a lot more like cage boxing than gentle competitions. I had more than forty first cousins, mostly wild animals and heathens. By the time their parents herded them to the scene of the festivities, their hellions had exhausted them so just opened the car doors and all Hell broke loose. Exhausted from defending themselves and their babies on the ride over, it was every man for himself. God help anybody in the way,
The monstrous kids ripped through the house under the guise of needing the bathroom and a drink of water, destruction in their wake, before being cast out into the yard like demons into swine. Actually, they were cast out onto the other cousins. We’d get a baseball or football team going, all the big kids on one team, so the little ones never got a chance to bat, or got mowed down in football. They’d go squalling in to their daddies who’d come out long enough to straighten us out a vague semblance of fairness, often lingering to play a while.
Once the egg hunt started, it was chaos. It was survival of the meanest. The horrendous kids showed no favoritism between their sibligs and cousins shoving all the smaller kids down, stomping the hands of little ones reaching for eggs. The event was a melee of squalling, battered young ones, and sometimes even a few bloody noses. More than a few times they hurled eggs. My antisocial cousin, Crazy Larry, kept trying to pee on us while we were distracted by the madness.
One aunt in particular didn’t think her big kids ought to have to share at the end of the hunt, even though they’d hoarded a basketful and babies had none.
“They found ‘em!” my aunt asserted, sticking up for her devilish offspring.
It didn’t matter that she’d only brought a dozen eggs to the hunt. She resented the host confiscating her evil progeny’s bounty and redistributing them so every kid got a few, and converting most to the Easter Delight of deviled eggs.
Ah, family. Better get busy. I have company coming. But not Crazy Larry. He’s in the witness protection program.
Nutsrok 
Your childhood sounds like an excellent preparatory school for adult life!
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It was!
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“I had more than forty first cousins, mostly wild animals and heathens. ” LOL! How many aunts and uncles were there to put forth this many hellish children? That’s a crazy number!
Fun story!!
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My paternal GM produced seven fertile offspring.
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A bunch of friends and me filled Easter eggs for our church egg hunt on Easter Morning.
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This cracked me up, just the image of it made me smile and laugh, when I did Easter Egg Hunts doe my daughters the Easter Bunny made sure to write on the eggs a K, T or J so all got the same amount of eggs. My girls didn’t think it odd.
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It was smart.
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“cast out into the yard like demons into swine” — so funny!
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And we were the unfortunate swine.
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Oh, my! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! ;-)
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We did both once we survived!
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I KNOW, right? “Actually, her cousins!” 🤣
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I remember those family reunion easter egg hunts, but praise God I do not believe we had a cousin like Crazy Larry. Truely enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.
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I haven’t known many people who pursued people to pee on them but one was plenty. I was a little bigger. I used to beat the crap out of him everytime he got close to me or my baby sisters. I saw him a few years ago at a family reunion and he said he was so scared of me when we were kids. I was so gratified.
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