humor

Don’t Forget get !National Pupusa Day

If this is the first time you’ve ever heard of National Pupusa Day then on the second Sunday in November, you are in for a tasty treat. National Pupusa Day is an El Salvadoran holiday celebrating the pupusa, a tortilla-like flatbread filled with beans, meat and other deliciousness, is now the national dish of El Salvador — a far cry from its humble beginnings as a staple in the diet of early Indian tribes. 

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HISTORY OF NATIONAL PUPUSA DAY

Pupusas have a long and debated history. As of this day, both Honduras and El Salvador claim to be be the birth place of this delicious treat (although it’s more accepted as being El Salvador), with evidence showing that humans have been making pupusas at least 2000 years ago, if not longer. 

It actually wasn’t until 1570 when meat was incorporated into pupusas, making that development relatively recent in its history. Before that squash blossoms, mushrooms, and other hardy veggies provided the fillings. 

From there, pupusas were predominantly regional, and it wasn’t until the 1980s during the El Salvadoran civil war when a large population migrated to the United States that pupusas found their way up north. Even then, they were by and large a neighborhood treat until 2011 when the Guardian dubbed pupusas the best street food of in New York – an important distinction for a city that’s constantly on the go. 

Decent Jokes for Your Sunday Chuckles

Two friends met in the street. One looked sad and almost on the verge of tears. The other man said, “Hey my friend, how come you look like the whole world has caved in?”
      
      The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me 50-thousand dollars.” 
      
      “That’s not bad at all…!” 
      
      “Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked-the-bucket and left me 95-thousand, tax-free to boot.”
      
      “Well, that’s great! I’d like that.”
      
      “Last week, my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a million.” 
      
      “So why are so glum?”
      
      “This week – nothing!”

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work…

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a baseball.”

Man – “That’s nice.”

Boy – “Want to buy it?”

Man – “No, thanks.”

Boy – “My dad’s outside.”

Man – “OK, how much?”

Boy – “$150” 

Man – “Sold.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy – “Dark in here.”

Man – “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a Wilson infielder’s glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,”How much?”

Boy – “$350”

Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your gloves, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my glove.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The boy says, “$500” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again, you’re in my closet now.”

Four religious men of the cloth go on a fishing trip…

That night in the fish house they decide to confess their greatest sin to each other. The Catholic priest says, “my greatest sin is lust. I look at porn constantly online and when I can I have crazy sex with parishioners.” The Rabbi says “my sin is greed. I never give to charities and sometimes steal from the Temple.” The Islamic imam says, “my sin is gluttony. At least once a week I go to the liquor store for a six-pack and then head to McDonalds in the middle of the night and get a big bag of Big Macs, Bacon cheese burgers and fries and eat and drink it all while sitting in the parking lot.” The Baptist minister says, “My greatest sin is gossip and I can’t wait to get back to town!”

Decent Jokes for Your Sunday Chuckles

Two friends met in the street. One looked sad and almost on the verge of tears. The other man said, “Hey my friend, how come you look like the whole world has caved in?”
      
      The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me 50-thousand dollars.” 
      
      “That’s not bad at all…!” 
      
      “Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked-the-bucket and left me 95-thousand, tax-free to boot.”
      
      “Well, that’s great! I’d like that.”
      
      “Last week, my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a million.” 
      
      “So why are so glum?”
      
      “This week – nothing!”

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work…

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a baseball.”

Man – “That’s nice.”

Boy – “Want to buy it?”

Man – “No, thanks.”

Boy – “My dad’s outside.”

Man – “OK, how much?”

Boy – “$150” 

Man – “Sold.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy – “Dark in here.”

Man – “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a Wilson infielder’s glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,”How much?”

Boy – “$350”

Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your gloves, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my glove.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The boy says, “$500” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again, you’re in my closet now.”

Four religious men of the cloth go on a fishing trip…

That night in the fish house they decide to confess their greatest sin to each other. The Catholic priest says, “my greatest sin is lust. I look at porn constantly online and when I can I have crazy sex with parishioners.” The Rabbi says “my sin is greed. I never give to charities and sometimes steal from the Temple.” The Islamic imam says, “my sin is gluttony. At least once a week I go to the liquor store for a six-pack and then head to McDonalds in the middle of the night and get a big bag of Big Macs, Bacon cheese burgers and fries and eat and drink it all while sitting in the parking lot.” The Baptist minister says, “My greatest sin is gossip and I can’t wait to get back to town!”

Pets

What is good about having a pet?

The best part of having a dog is there undying love. Should a person be a total jerk, alienate everyone in their life, and not contribute anything to society, their dog greets them with total affection. Cats are just the opposite, making no effort to please. They domesticate and make servants of us. For some reason,, we find their sociopathy intoxicating. These pets appeal to the bipolar component of our nature.

Childhood Memories of Food and Family

Bud and I grew up together. He was raised like me, one of five. Like my home, there was plenty of food at mealtime but treats were rare. After school snacks were leftover biscuits, cornbread, or a grizzled flapjack left over from breakfast. Should a bag of cookies or chips miraculously materialize, ravenous kids would fall on it like a hoard of locusts. It brought new meaning to term, “first come, first served!”

Bud’s mom made cookies one evening. He ate all he was allowed before being dispatched to bed. Long after the house quieted, he lay sleepless, those cookies silently beckoning him from the cookie jar. He waited as long as he could stand it before slipping into the dark kitchen surreptitiously opening the cookie jar. Naturally, he was too wily to turn on the lights.

Slipping back into bed, he gobbled his bonanza under the covers. His appetite satiated, he laid back, finally ready for sleep. Moments later, Bud noticed a tingly, ticklish feeling on his hands. Upon investigation, he found them crawling with the remainder of the ants he hadn’t already consumed.

It was the same at the Swain house. I had some dainty little cousins. Their mother constantly worried that they wouldn’t eat. Invariably, Mother embarrassed me by remarking, “My kids eat anything I put in front of them!” Even a blind man could have inferred that by the smacking. It was hazardous to reach for the last piece of chicken. A slow kid might get a fork in the hand.

Anyway, I spent a few days with my non-eating cousin. Still smarting from Mother’s remark, I made up my mind to be a picky eater for the duration. Though it nearly killed me, I turned up my nose at every meal. I even spurned fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy, my favorites.

Aunt Bonnie tested me sorely when she emptied her freezer and offered up the remains of a carton of butter pecan ice cream before she tossing it. Along with her honestly snooty kids, I refused to consider it. I very nearly died of heartbreak as she rinsed the carton with hot water and ran the ice cream down the drain. I fear I would have lost my resolve and eaten out of the garbage if she’d left it in the carton in the outdoor garbage can.

By the time I got home, I was gaunt with hunger, having made a point to be pickier than her miniature children. Finally, my efforts were rewarded. The minute we got home, Aunt Bonnie claimed I was the pickiest eater she’d ever seen. I’d worried her to death!”

I was overjoyed! I rushed into the kitchen and snatched a dried out biscuit off Mother’s stove. I hid under the bed and ate it where Aunt Bonnie wouldn’t see me.

This is me and my cousin. We were about a year apart in age. Of course, I was the big one.

Hard Time Marrying

This is a series I wrote in 2015. Not many of my current followers have seen it. I hope you enjoy it.


Their union had a bleak start.  Meeting at the train in the freezing rain, she clutched his letter.  They married minutes later at the preacher’s house, barely speaking as they shivered the two hours home in his open wagon.  In her letter, she’d not mentioned the two little ones, though with all fairness, the marriage was only one of need on both parts. They were proof she could bear the children he hoped for.  Burning with fever by the time they got to his homestead; dead by the next sundown, she left him with two little ones he had no taste for.  Barely reaching his knee, they toddled mutely in perpetual ,soggy diapers dragging to their knees, uttering gibberish only they understood.  As soon as he could get her wrapped in a quilt, he buried this stranger wife and headed back to dusty Talphus, Texas with the sad burden of her orphaned little ones.  The church or the town would have to do for them.  Loading them in a snug in a bed of hay, wrapped in a ragged quilt, hay heaped over them.  he pitied and grieved for them on the long trip back to town, knowing the hard life they faced.  Stopping several times to make sure they were warmly covered, he was relieved to find them pink and warm.
He hardened his heart against them, knowing only too well the life they were facing.  He’d never known family, just been passed from hand to hand.

Expensive

Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).

Bud and I went to a music store to pick up guitar strings one day. He looked longingly at the Martin Guitars on display as he always did. I asked which he’d choose if price didn’t matter. He said he’d always wanted the Martin HD28. I summoned the sales person and bought it on the spot. Bud was stunned. I turned out to be a joyous choice. He got serious about learning and has become quite good. It’s brought us both many hours of enjoyment. I’m glad I bought it. I

t’s harder to be happy about the banjo he bought himself.

Thanksgiving Jokes for Your Pleasure

  • “Why did the turkey bring a microphone?” “He was ready to roast.”
  • “Which side of a turkey has more feathers?” “The outside.”
  • “Is that your pop-up timer or are you just happy to see me?”
  • “What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?” “Drumsticks for everyone!” 
  • “Why did the turkey stand on stilts?” “Because nobody eat flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner.”
  • “What kind of turkey requires ID?” “Wild Turkey.”
  • “What did the turkey say when he met the president?” “Pardon me.”
  • “How does a turkey travel?” “By gravy train.”
  • “What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?” “Lucky!”
  • “What did the turkey say to his real estate agent?” “Turn-key only.”
  • “What’s a turkey’s favorite month?” “They don’t have one, but they prefer any other than November!”
  • “What sound does a turkey’s phone make?” “Wing-wing-wing.”
  • “What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?” “Quack, Quack!”
  • “Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?” “He sensed fowl play.”
  • “What key has legs and can’t open a door?” “A tur-key.” 
  • “Why did they let the turkey join the band?” “Because he had his own drumsticks.”
  • “What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?” “He got the stuffing knocked out of him!”

Growing Up in the Shadow of a Model Student

Attending a small rural school where “everybody knows everybody” presents problems for the lackadaisical student unfortunate enough to follow a “model” student. My older sister was the darling of every teacher. She always did her homework, had beautiful penmanship, and followed all the rules. She never missed a spelling word until fourth grade when she forgot to cross the T in grandfather and didn’t dot the i in president. She was only called down for raising her hand too much and trying to give all the answers!

Needless to say, teachers held high expectations for me when I showed up in their classes three years later. “Oh, I had your sister in my class. She was the best student I ever had.” Not fully understanding the expectations that teacher held, I beamed with pride, thinking I was “teacher’s pet” by proxy. This would be good.

By day two in the first grade, I’d gotten over any initial shyness and been labeled a blabbermouth. I beamed with pride and couldn’t wait to share the good news with my parents. It didn’t take them long to straighten me out on that. Just a few days later, I learned Mrs. Crow didn’t approve of my putting my big yellow pencil up my nose. Not only that, she didn’t like me eating school paste. She was offended even after I pointed out it was my paste. It tasted delicious. She also was critical of my penchant for peeling my crayons and chewing the paper wrappers. The unfortunate teacher had difficulty understanding how the model student came from the same family as the one she was currently dealing with. I think the final insult was when I told her “My mother said she wouldn’t take a sick dog to Dr. Pugh. Mrs. Crow had the nerve to tell me I was “sassy, ” and let me know her father was a good doctor!”

I was offended at her attitude and reported back to Mother. Not surprisingly, Mother was horrifically embarrassed and cancelled out on her roommother duties at this Christmas Party Later that week.

I don’t think my brother suffered such high expectations when he entered the first grade three years behind me.