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Charley’s Tale Part 23

Charles staggered into the kitchen under a mountain of farm goods expecting exclamations of joy. Instead, the normally voluable Cora met him with pursed lips.  Clearly disapproving, She announced.  “The Reverend Mason is waiting for you in the parlor.  He says he’s here on business that can’t wait. I’ll bring in coffee and coconut cake in a minute.”  Cora had never made a secret of her feelings about Dr. Mason since he’d dodged her congregation’s request to purchase the old Presbyterian sanctuary when the Presbyterians built a new new one, especially after it stood empty for three years till being turned into apartments and a thrift store.

Though Charles still golfed and served on the school board with Reverend Mason, though he’d not invited him into his home since the pastor refused to sell to Cora’s congregation, responding.  “I don”t think the neighbors are ready for a black congregation.”  Charles didn’t want Cora to have to serve a man with his prejudice.

“This is a surprise, Joe.  Have a seat.  The coffee should be ready in a minute.  Cora put it on before she left.   I’ll just duck out to the kitchen and get it.” Charles greeted him, knowing Cora would be listening at the kitchen door, anxious to learn the pastor’s business.

” I can’t stay, Charles.  I just came by to to let you know about the schoolboard’s decision.” Reverend Mason replied, avoiding Charles’s eye.

”What decision?  The schoolboard’s meeting is not until next week, is it?” Charles said.  Something wasn’t right.

”A special meeting was called.” Reverend Mason replied.

”A special meeting and I wasn’t notified.”  Charles spoke flatly.  “What’s your business?”

Dr Mason answered miserably.  “You know that last year the board voted extend from eleven to twelve years for graduation starting next fall.   Since Charlotte only lacks two credits to graduate, the board voted to award her diploma now, instead of making her attend another year.  I have her diploma with me, all signed by the board.  Would you like me to present it to her?”

Charles was stunned but fortunately, not speechless.  “I would NOT!  So you don’t want Charley in your school!  Charley is the same person,now, he was a few weeks ago.  He has never caused any problems and suddenly the board thinks he is unfit to attend!  How can they justify this?”o

”This is miserable for us all, Charles, but we have to consider what’s best for everyone.  Many parents have expressed their concerns over sports teams use of locker rooms.  Students do not feel comfortable with Charley as things are.  Charley might not be comfortable either.  We have to think of what’s best for ALL students, Charley included.”  Dr. Mason felt righteous in his thinking.

”You pompous, Jackass!  Did it not occur to you that we are well-aware of the problem?  We live close enough to school that Charley could have come home when necessary.    Please tell the school board they won’t be bothered by me or Charley in the future.  You and your board must feel you have a divine guarantee of a perfect life to come to me with this.  Please show yourself out!”

”

Joke of the Day

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

'Hey guys! He just said we'll all be in gravy soon! We're going to be rich!' ‘Hey guys! He just said we’ll all be in gravy soon! We’re going to be rich!’

'Is that cow meditating?' 'Dyslexic.' ‘Is that cow meditating?’ ‘Dyslexic.’

farm 5

Farm 4

farm 2farm 2farm 3

'For some reason, I've never been able to bring myself to part with Elsie here.' ‘For some reason, I’ve never been able to bring myself to part with Elsie here.’

Gathering chickens

The farmer’s son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken’s his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.

“Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.”

“Well, you done real good, son,” the farmer beamed. “You left with seven.”

Lacking all religion

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently…

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Another Joke for You

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, “We’re prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?” One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, “We’re prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?” One male parrot said to the other, “Put the Bibles away! We’ve made it to heaven!”

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Parrot Joke

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said “It’s in his pocket, it’s in his pocket”. The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, “It’s up his sleeve! It’s up his sleeve!” The magician got mad because he couldn’t keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
One day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of…

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Oops, Did I Say That?

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

imageFor a while when I was a kid we had the Sailor Bill Show, a low budget afternoon kid’s show featuring Sailor Bill and his sidekick Polly Parrot.  Everyday Sailor Bill showed a couple of cartoons, interviewed some kids in the audience, talked to Polly Parrot, told a few jokes and made some effort to entertain us.

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Afternoon Chuckle

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

There’s this bar and in the bar there is a magic mirror.

If you tell a lie it will suck you in.

One day a brunette walks into the bar. She approaches the mirror and says ” I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and it sucks her in.

The next day a redhead walks into the bar. She approaches the mirror and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and it sucks her in.

The next day a blonde walks into the bar. She approaches the mirror and says “I think…” and it sucks her in.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.

First, the panel of scientists asks the brunette, “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?” She answers promptly, “I would…

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Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Blog Sitting February 2017 – The Sinful Suitcase and the Common-Law Cows by author Linda Bethea — Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

Last year I headed off to my annual reunion with my two sisters in the UK for our joint birthday celebrations. Some wonderful contributors were left in charge of my blog in my absence and some of them will be returning this year betweent 15th and 21st of February as I head off again. I […]

via Smorgasbord Posts from My Archives – Blog Sitting February 2017 – The Sinful Suitcase and the Common-Law Cows by author Linda Bethea — Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

Charley’s Tale Part 22

Robert and Bessie piled Charles’s car high for his trip back to town.  Charles was  the enviable object of a friendly competition between Cora and Bessie, so lots of eggs, milk, cream and butter filled an ice chest.  Two gallons of dewberries, turnip greens, squash and green tomatoes, and a dozen jars of Bessie’s bread and butter pickles were safely tucked in the trunk.  Bessie raised the ante by four quarts of pickled eggs, smugly aware Cora didn’t have fresh eggs.  The biggest prize of all, the freshly dressed hen rode in the front seat with Charles.  “I am sure proud of all these farm goods,” Charles told them.  “I’d have been scared to go home without Cora’s hen and dewberries.  Boys, I really appreciate the fish.  I’m hoping Cora will cook’em for my supper.  I do love white perch.”

”You’re sure welcome,” Robert answered.  “They ain’t nothing like good country food.  I’d hate to have to eat from a can like some folks do.  The beans, corn, and tomaters is puttin’ on real good and should be ready in a couple of weeks.  I’ll have ‘em ready for you next time.”

“If you don’t get back when they’re comin’ on, you know I’ll can ‘em up for you.”  Bessie assured him.

” I’ll be back.  I’ll want to see how Charley’s doing.  Charley, make sure you learn all you can from Robert,”  Charles answered.  “But don’t lift anything too heavy.  Go easy on your sore belly!”

”I will. It don’t hurt no more.”  Charley answered.

”You say that now.” Robert laughed.  “You just wait till it’s time to milk at four-thirty in the morning.  That’s gonna hurt.  You ain’t used to gittin’ up that early.”

”Why does milking have to come so early?”  Charley challenged.  “It’s not even light then.”

”Because we got six cows to milk and hogs to slop before breakfast.  Bessie puts biscuits on the table at five-thirty so we can be working by daylight.  We got to hoe them beans before it gits too hot, then work on that section of fence in the afternoon.  It’s gonna be a long day.” Robert answered.

”Charley, you do everything Robert says and learn all you can.  Robert is the best farmer around.  He feeds two houses and puts money in the bank, too.”   Charles told Charley.

“I will, Dad.  I don’t know nothing now, and I aim to be a farmer.”  Charley assured his dad and Robert.

Charles mused as he drove through the country. “Charley is in a good place.  Robert and Bessie have known him since he was born.”  Once again, he wished he’d left well-enough alone and left Charley the way God made him.  His meddling had likely driven his wife crazy and left Charley’s life a mess.”