A Narcissist’s Enablers are Guilty

Reblogging. I will not be a coward.

Exercise as important as Food or Sleep?

This woman is smart! Check out Divorce With Me.

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Exercise is at the top of my list of resolutions for 2016. Nothing original about that as it seems to be high in everyone’s list.


But something really clicked in my mind the other day.

Captain gave me a bit of a lecture how I don’t really do much for myself since I’m always busy taking care of everyone else. And I responded that I now do much more for myself than ever before. I go to the gym regularly and get to spend quality time with him. These are now my outlets.

But he responded that the gym is not “me” time as much as it’s a necessity.

Wha????


I never really thought of exercise as important as sleep or food or water.

Mind blown.


I always felt as if getting to the gym was strictly a way to treat myself. A luxury, of sorts.

And…

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Do Unto Others As You Want Done For You: Let Me Promote Your Page

Reblogged from Dream Big, Dream Often. Danny is a generous guy.

Tall Tales And Cold, Cold Weather

Re blogging from Vancouver Visions. I just love Brian’s Tall Tales,

You Used to Be Beautiful!

Kathleen Holdaway in flowered dress0002One warm afternoon in late May, 1960, Billy and I were lying on the living room floor as Mother reclined a few minutes with her feet up wearing the heavy surgical weight stockings the doctor had ordered. She was six months into a difficult pregnancy with her last child,and was supposed to be off her feet. She had spent a good portion of the morning tying to keep an eye on her fourteen-month-old, Connie, while trying to coax twelve-year old Phyllis and me at ten to do a little housework, help with Connie, and even get a little work out of seven year old Billy, while keeping him out of trouble. Phyllis was watching Connie. We were all terminally lazy, slacking off at the first excuse. None of us had any intention of doing anything we could avoid.

As we dawdled at her feet on the floor in the draft of the attic fan, one of us pulled out an old photo album. I quickly found a picture of her made her senior year of high school, the peak of her youth and beauty. “I graduated thirteen years ago today,” she remarked smilingly.

In my infinite wisdom, I proclaimed, “Oh Mother, you used to be beautiful!”

I turned for her smile, only to see a snarling, slobbering, swollen beast ready to pounce on me in rage! “”Used to be beautiful! Let’s see what you look like when you have five kids in twelve years! Put this stuff up, right now. Linda, you take your smart mouth and get those dishes washed. Phyllis, you put a pot of beans on for supper. Billy, you…”

By the way, this is not the picture in question. That one mysteriously disappeared

Travels With Mother (Part 2)

Mothers BDayMother and I spent a few days in Haddonfield, New Jersey, visiting with friends and relatives on the occasion on her eighty-second birthday. Haddonfield is a wonderful place to visit.  Everything is in walking distance.  We walked miles seeing all the sights, restaurants, and shops. We took the opportunity to attend a meeting at the Friends Meeting on Sunday.  I thought Mother understood how meetings worked.  We filed in and took our places in the lovely old meeting house.  Mother leaned over to whisper something as soon as we were seated.  I gestured there was no talking, so Mother, a staunch Southern Baptist, sat waiting for the services to start. Worshipers sat quietly meditating as Mother looked increasingly puzzled.  Finally, she let me know she was ready to leave after about twenty minutes.  She had a little difficulty understanding no talking in church.  That twenty minutes was the longest I’ve ever known her to go without talking. 

After the service, we took a peaceful stroll through a beautiful cemetery.  Cemeteries can be so lovely, a place to reflect and spend a little time in meditation.  The more we walked, the more Mother admired it.  This one looked so good, she decided she might like to be buried there.  She stretched out to see if it felt as enticing as it looked.  I offered to check on immediate availability, but she decided she’d like to finish out the trip, but she is still considering.

Mother checking out realestateindian dress and hen

https://atomic-temporary-73629786.wpcomstaging.com/2014/10/24/the-indian-princess-gets-hen-flogged/

Above see Mother’s original art and link to story she told little girl at tea party.

One afternoon, we walked down to a little tea-room for tea.  A grandmother had taken her precious little four-year-old granddaughter there for birthday tea.  Mother, the little miss, and her grandmother got into such an animated conversation, we ended up being invited to join them.  Mother told the little girl a story from her own childhood and ending up buying the little one a special teacup.  We all had a lovely time.  We strolled home late in the afternoon full of the unexpected pleasures of the day.

When we got ready to go through security at the airport on the way home, I was chosen for expedited board and told to skip the security line.  I explained to the attendant I was traveling with my eighty-two year old mother and couldn’t leave her unattended.  Hearing that, Mother immediately switched into her daft mode.  “Where are we going?  I’m hungry.  Where’s my kitty-cat?”  Fearing a lengthy exchange with an Alzheimer’s sufferer, the attendant waved both of us on through.  All the while, Mother was pulling on my sleeve wanting to know when she could eat and demanding her cat.  (She doesn’t have one.) Her ruse worked, but I don’t know if it was worth it since she kept it up for a while since she was having such a good time with it.

I had requested a wheelchair meet us at the gate to get Mother through the airport quickly, not because she’s disabled, except for her extremely short legs.  The wheelchair attendant whisked her through in record time.  When we got to the gate, Mother gave her a dollar and a heartfelt thank you.  I slipped her a five behind Mother’s back.  She’d earned it!

video on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blq9f8NSkCkCut and paste into your browser. There are a few videos there.

To be continued……..

 

 

 

Lots of Great Ideas to Help You Blow an Interview

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"I'm sensing confidence, boldness, and moral sensibility. You're not going to turn out to be a whistleblower, are you?"

“I’m sensing confidence, boldness, and moral sensibility. You’re not going to turn out to be a whistleblower, are you?”

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Ten Things to Never Say to Your Church Pianist

THAT SONG WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF IT, AGAIN?

YOU PLAY LIKE A MAN.

THANKS FOR YOUR OFFERTORY. IT GAVE ME JUST ENOUGH TIME TO READ THE CHURCH BULLETIN FROM COVER TO COVER.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB. DID YOU EVER TAKE PIANO LESSONS?

I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT ARM TO BE ABLE TO PLAY LIKE YOU.

THAT WAS THE BEST YOU’VE EVER PLAYED. I ONLY HEARD A FEW MISTAKES.

DID YOU SNEAK A PAUL MCCARTNEY TUNE IN YOUR PRELUDE?

HOW EXACTLY DID YOUR SONG SELECTION FIT WITH THE REST OF THE WORSHIP SERVICE?

I’M DIZZY AFTER HEARING YOU PLAY ALL THOSE NOTES!

YOU SOUNDED MUCH BETTER WHEN I TURNED OFF MY HEARING AIDS.

Cousin Kat and the Axe Murderer(repost)

It’s not what you think. They were good friends. The Axe-Murderer had played the piano at Little Pearson Methodist Church for years. She never missed a service, but let me start at the beginning, the part where Cousin Kat took us to visit her.

I’d heard of Cousin Kat, my mother’s first cousin all my life. Though even Mother had never met her namesake, we’d had letters from her all my life. She was the eldest daughter of Grandma’s brother, Ed. Grandma had written Ed’s wife, Aunt Winnie, ever since Grandma left Virginia as a bride. Ed died and left Winnie a widow, with seven children under twelve. Grandma kept up with them, writing at least weekly. As soon as Cousin Kat got old enough, she started writing. Though none of us met Cousin Kat till she came to see us in the 1960s, with so much correspondence having passed back and forth, we all felt like we knew each other.

She was an eccentric delight, always upbeat and chipper. On one of our first visits to Cousin Kat in Virginia, she took Mother and me to services at the Methodist Church Grandma had attended. It was lovely, simple and likely unchanged since Grandma was a girl. After the services and dinner on the grounds that followed, we met everyone in the tiny community, most of whom were our relatives. Cousin Kat made a special point to have us spend time with Miss Betsy, a shy little lady who didn’t have a lot to say. As we left, Cousin Kat offered Miss Betsy a ride home, like always.

Sweet, little Miss Betsy lived a couple of miles up the mountain in a lovely shady glade in a little white house looked like something off a postcard from heaven. We had coffee and teacakes, admired the old pictures of the precious little redheaded children over her mantle and she remarked, “That little ‘un was my baby Peggy and the boy was Tommy. We had a terrible tragedy when they were little, but I can’t remember much about it.” That definitely put a damper on the visit. Then she brightened as she pointed out a recent picture of a handsome young man with a wife and four children. “That’s my son Pete. He lives in D.C. with his family. They’ll be here next weekend.

We all admired Pete and his lovely family. As we headed home, naturally I wanted to know more about the terrible tragedy Miss Betsy alluded to. Cousin Kate, remarked, “Well, people around here are pretty hard on her about that, but I always believe in letting bygones, be bygones. Betsy was always a good girl, just kind of ‘high strung.’ She really got notiony after she had her babies. Dave had to put her in the State Hospital Mental for a few weeks after she had Tommy. She had some trouble for a good while after Peggy was born, too, stayed in the hospital awhile, then Dave brought her home, thinking she was okay. She was still feelin’ purty low, but able to take care of the kids and house. Pete was in school by then. He came home and saw blood in the kitchen an’ Tommy under the table. He run an’ got Dave from the field. Dave come runnin’ in an’ Betsy hacked his arm with the axe as he came in the door. They got the sheriff out there to take her back to the State Mental Hospital, but before they took’er, they let’er get out the kids’ burial clothes. She’d made Peggy the sweetest little yellow and white-checked dress and made Tommy and Pete matching blue suits. It just about broke my heart! She stayed in the hospital a long time. They gave her a bunch of shock treatments. After a few years she got out and came home to live with Pete and Dave. Dave died a few years back. Pete comes back to visit sometimes, but he’s careful and don’t spend the night or leave her with the kids. She don’t remember nothing now, just tiptoes around like a ghost. She never has anything to say, unless somebody talks to her first. Don’t nobody around here have much to do with Betsy. I thought it might help her to see somebody new. “

I have to admit that was an interesting experience, but hoped we hadn’t intruded on sweet, sad Miss Betsy, God Bless her and her family.