memoir

A Penny Saved……

imageimage

My lovely, kind-hearted niece, pictured above, brought her little rescue dog, Penny,over to meet me.  Penny had been tossed out near a creek by some evil person, apparently in hopes she’d be picked up.  Hannah left her food and water, since Penny was too fearful to be approached, baited a trap with wieners, and caught her.  She was underweight, starving, and sick when Hannah got her to a vet, but is now recovering.  In fact, she is recovering so well, she chased my dog Buzzy out of his food, drank his water, and bossed him around.  I think it was good for him to see how a hungry dog eats.  After Hannah had Penny home a couple of days, she’s dug out under fences, dominated their bigger dogs, and generally taken over.  I think she may have run the place at some old grannie’s house.  She shows all the signs of being the spoiled darling the kids pitched out when Granny died.  I expect to see her drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, listening to gospel music, and playing video poker next time I go to visit Hannah.  Seriously, I don’t know how people who abandon animal can sleep at night.  I guess they don’t know about Karma.

Joke of the Day

The policeman approaches the drivers door.

“Is there a problem, Officer?”

The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”

The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one?”

The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving.”

The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

The policeman says, “Why not?”

“I stole this car.”

The officer says, “Stole it?”

The man says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”

At this point the officer is getting irate. “You what?”

“She’s in the boot if you want to see.”

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

The senior officer says, “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!”

The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”

“Murdered the owner?”

The officer responds, “Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?”

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, “Is this your car sir?”

The man says, “Yes” and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”

The man replies, “I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!”

<p><img src=”//script1.net/tracking/piwik.php?idsite=6″ style=”border:0;” alt=”” /></p>

http://resources.infolinks.com/static/FBLIS.html
 

Napping for Creativity

Reblog from Vanbytheriver

vanbytheriver's avatarvanbytheriver

Can a nap that only lasts a few seconds stimulate creativity ?

Both Thomas Edison and Salvador Dali used a technique that might prove it true.

Edison steel ball Closeup of Edison Statue

Edison Thomas Edison 1847-1931

There is a statue of Thomas Edison in Fort Myers, Florida that shows him with a steel ball in his left hand. It depicts a habit he used to enter a certain state of consciousness.

The practice is sometimes credited to Capuchin monks, as far back as the 16th century.

When confronted with a very difficult problem, he would catnap in the chair in his office. He placed metal pans beside his chair and held a steel ball in each hand. As he fell asleep, his hands relaxed, dropping the steel balls in the pans. Awakened, he immediately recorded any insights gained during the period between wakefulness and sleep.

Eccentric artist Salvador Dali revealed that one…

View original post 177 more words

Dear Auntie Linda, August 5, 2015

Auntie LindaDear Auntie Linda,  If I cared to own up to it, I think half my family is just trashy, on drugs, or maybe just plain nuts.  My father-in-law has a gambling problem.  He and my mother-in-law adopted a schizophrenic relative’s kids so they could add them to their disability checks, and now they keep trying to dump them on us.  Their daughter lives in a mobile home in their yard and steals everything she can get her hands on.  We are decent people and want no part of this.  What do we do? Disgusted

Dear Disgusted,  If you husband supports you, you can refuse to get involved.  Their problems will just have to be their problems.  Don’t loan money under or baby sit under any circumstances.  Sounds like they are all users and you need to set strict limits.

Dear Auntie Linda,  I was raised in a Fundamentalist Christian Faith that I no longer follow, that required very strict code of dress, no make up, long hair, women submitting to their husband in every way.  I still am in a Christian faith but my parents make no secret of their strong disappointment and disapproval.  What does it take to make people realize adults have the right to make their own decisions.  Pressured

Dear Pressured, it takes an open mind and warm heart.  Nobody knows what’s in another person’s heart.  Auntie Linda

Are You Healthy Enough for…You Know?

blReblog of an older post

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

motherAnother story about my mother, who at eighty plus is always up for a laugh. We recently visited her cardiologist for a routine checkup. She’s been seeing him for years. Noticing a few gray hairs, she studied him seriously. “Can you recommend a good cardiologist?”

View original post 166 more words

Cat That Chewed Your Two Shoes

Roy Rogers bought himself a new pair of boots.  They were a little tight, so he rubbed them up with snake oil to soften them up a little.  They smelled so bad, Dale wouldn’t have them in the house.  Roy put them out on the back porch overnight to air out a little.  The next morning when he went out to get them, he found them all chewed up and ripped to shreds.  Then he noticed mountain lion tracks all around the place.  He went back in the house to get his gun and vowed not to come back without the mountain lion that had ruined his new boots.  In a few hours he came back home with the mountain lion draped over Trigger’s back behind him.  Dale saw him coming up with the lion hanging over his horse and starting singing, “Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your two shoes?”

Dear Auntie Linda, August 4, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, I betrayed a friend’s confidence and caused her to lose her job.  I feel horrible about it.  What do I do?  Feel like a rat.

Dear Rat, I am sure you do.  Why did you betray the confidence?  Was it necessary?  Did it relate to job performance or a moral or ethical issue related to work?  If it wasn’t necessary and you just divulged something unnecessarily, it’s not too likely you’ll salvage the friendship, but an apology might be in order.

Dear Auntie Linda,  I bought a jacket at a church thrift shop and found a diamond bracelet in the pocket.  I appraises for twelve thousand dollars.  Should I report the find to the gift shop.?  Lucky

Dear Lucky, I think it’s very likely that bracelet was accidently left in the jacket pocket.  You should report finding a bracelet to the thrift shop and leave your contact info, but I wouldn’t leave the bracelet or volunteer too much info.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My friend’s husband is seeing another woman.  Should I tell her?  Know something

Dear Know, Not unless you are the other woman and you’re wearing your running shoes.  You could be wrong or she might already know. Auntie Linda

Joke of the Day

How to tell where a driver is from:

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator:
California

With gun in lap:
L.A..

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat:
Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game:
Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window:
Texas city male

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road:
Texas country male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment:
Texas female

Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another’s car:
Colorado

One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn’t hit other motorists so as not to litter:
Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
West Virginia male.

Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on:
Florida “seasoned citizen” driver, also known as “no-see-um”

Dear Auntie Linda, August 3, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My grandmother died recently.  She left her entire estate, the farm my father grew up on, to my brother.My sister and I were also very close to her. The monetary value wasn’t great.  It was just painful not to be acknowledged at all.  Why do you think she would have done this? Hurt Feelings

Dear Hurt, She may be from that old school of that feels everything goes to the eldest male heir to keep the estate intact or she may be submitting to someone else’s wishes.  I know it would be painful.  I am sorry your feelings are hurt, but her estate is hers to handle as ske wishes.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My husband and I have a new baby.  My lovely mother-in-law has offered to babysit in her home next door, but we don’t feel safe accepting her offer since she is such a casual housekeeper.  She often has things scattered on the floor and spoiled spoiled food in the fridge,, for example.  Would it be insulting to ask us to keep the baby at our home?  Worried Mama

Dear Worried, Mother-in-law is likely to bring her casual habits with her.  Professional day care might be a good idea.  Auntie Linda

62-health- and-fitness.com/

"Creative Insights for Designers & Digital Artists

TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Foxes Den

Let’s fix it

WithMeaning.net

Finding Meaning in Modern Life

Two Wild & Free: Single Mama Diaries

Real motherhood. Real fun. Real life with two wild boys.

Prophetic Ties Blog

Exploring biblical promises and their fulfillment in Israel and the Middle East.

Site Title

Playgirlkaybrazyworld

Online hookup services

mentalnotes1

POETRY RANDOM THOUGHTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT...

Zoe's Muse

The Reviewer’s Shelf

Your next read is just a shelf away.

Soul Forge 7

Creative alchemy for the soul

Yarns from the Lake

Projects, Observations, Stories and Happenings

Backyard Bird Nerd

"Consider the birds of the air...."

The Beaded Tapestry

Exploring the writing and inspirations of Elisa Weeber

HOBO WINDMILL BLOG

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." Mark Twain

Nswayzom

Wayzom3.wordpress.com

For The Love of History

Stories from a cemetery researcher, pipeline wife, amateur farmer & mom!

Jarlhalla Group

Empowering our People

funeunice

having fun since 1995.

62-health- and-fitness.com/

"Creative Insights for Designers & Digital Artists

TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Foxes Den

Let’s fix it

WithMeaning.net

Finding Meaning in Modern Life

Two Wild & Free: Single Mama Diaries

Real motherhood. Real fun. Real life with two wild boys.

Prophetic Ties Blog

Exploring biblical promises and their fulfillment in Israel and the Middle East.

Site Title

Playgirlkaybrazyworld

Online hookup services

mentalnotes1

POETRY RANDOM THOUGHTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT...

Zoe's Muse