Reap What You Sow

st bernardThree men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. Continue reading

Life According to Buzzy

imageLife according to Buzzy:

Dog poop is precious.  Crazy people  run behind dogs to collect it in small blue bags.

Pizza delivery people come to steal our pizza.  The house must be defended at all costs. Continue reading

Blonde Joke

Any keyA blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

Beautiful day!

cashmereflowersback flowerbed

Picture 1 is Cashmere Bouquet growing next to my patio strawberry bed.  The hummingbirds prefer it to the hummingbird feeders.  I grow enough strawberries for us and the birds. Picture 2 is what I wish my baskets looked like but never have.  Picture 3 is the flower bed in back that has about half enough flowers, but I did notice eggs on my milkweed plants, so maybe in a few days, I’ll have caterpillars.  The dill, fennel, and garlic are all right there waiting for them.  Oh, it’s so hot!  I have flowers to put out, baskets to fill, flowers to water.  The day is just gorgeous but it’s 95 degrees and the humidity is 80%. I must be really looking hard for something to complain about.  Thank you, God!

 

Joke of the Day

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink–he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely–but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.

The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries “Man! How many bars do you work at?”

Wonderful Times of Reading Aloud

imageIt has always been a joy to hear my sister Phyllis read aloud.  Till my last days, I will cherish a few days during school Christmas vacation in 1961.  Phyllis was enjoying reading Great Expectations in her ninth grade English class and offered to read a few pages aloud. Daddy was working second shift at the paper mill, so once he left and the remains of the noon meal were cleared away, we settled in the cozy living room for a reading.  I would have been eleven, Billy, eight, and Connie and Marilyn, two and a few months old.  Enraptured by the story of Pip, the cruel Estella, and the mad Miss Havisham, I would Continue reading

Joke

imageDo you know why you can’t hear a pteradactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “p” is silent.

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Blonde Joke

imageThe girl came skipping in in from kindergarten one day and told her Mother.  “Mommy, we were counting today and none of the other kids could go past 4 but I counted all the way to 10.  Is that because I’m blonde?

“Yes dear.”

“Mommy, we were reciting the alphabet.  None of the other kids could go past D, but I went all the way to M.  Is that be because I’m a blonde?” Continue reading

Father’s Day

good pic of DadI miss my father.  He was actually three fathers to me.  The first, a doting, loving father whose every step I made, the smartest, most handsome man who ever lived.  He could do no wrong.

As I grew up, he struggled under increased responsibility.  Uncomfortable with adolescent girls, he put up a wall between us, becoming stern, cold, and distant, feeling women should raise girls.  I resented what I saw as rejection, not understanding his reasoning.  He could do little right.

As I became an adult, we grew close again.  He was a loving grandfather, free again to love me.  I still miss him.