Dear Auntie Linda,  I am a widow on a fixed income.  My only daughter Megan is thirty-two years old.  Despite her two degrees, she has never had a job, though she puts in applications frequently, but only applies for professional positions in her field.  She never gets up before one in the afternoon.  I know she is not drinking or doing drugs, since she never leaves the house.  She just stays up all night.  Though I am her mother, I have to admit, her appearance and personality are a big part of the problem.  She wears a size twenty-two, has sloppy hair and grooming, and chatters nervously.  If I were hiring, I probably wouldn’t choose her.  I won’t live forever and am worried she will end up homeless since we struggle by on my retirement check.  Do you have any advice for me?  Near Penniless

Dear Near Penniless,  I know you are worried.  Things don’t look good for Megan.  It is time for her to take whatever she can get.  It is better to be an underemployed at a low wage than be an overqualified unemployed person. Is there anyone besides you who could talk to her?  Goodwill Industries has an excellent job training and job skills program.  She needs to talk to them.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My eighty year old mother just moved in with me and my husband, not because she needs help, but because she didn’t want to invest in her aging house at her age.  She gets along fine and doesn’t require assistance.  The problem is, I don’t really feel comfortable leaving her alone when we go out of town.  She still drives and in her old community, she had friends in for coffee every day.  We live in a more rural area and don’t even know our neighbors. If she had trouble, she might not be found.  I have four siblings who say they’d be glad to have her for the weekend when we leave, but somehow, it never works out.  It’s always a bad weekend, they have other plans, or they have to babysit the grandchildren.  I worry when she is alone, even though she has a cell phone.  What can you suggest?  Mama’s Girl

Dear Mama’s Girl, Let your siblings know they need to take a turn.  Give them plenty of notice of your plans and tell them it’s up to them to work it out between themselves, otherwise you will pick one and take Mama over there yourself.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, Our daughter Becky is bipolar and has been married three times.  She and her first husband David have two children of whom David has sole custody.  We all live in the same small town.  We loved David and welcomed him as a son. He has always come for all holidays since he has no parents and considers us family.  We were devastated when Becky left him for another man.  She has been very unstable, in and out of relationships and more or less dropped out of family activities after her marriage to David broke up.  She just married #3 about a month ago.  He seems okay, but time will tell.  The problem is, Becky has asked us to ask David to just drop the children off so she and #3 can celebrate with “just family.”  We refuse to do this, since he is the primary parent and the children have never celebrated without him.  Also, he is extremely generous at sharing the children with us, letting them visit any time we ask.  We can’t afford to jeopardize our relationship with the children just to please her.  Becky is furious, saying we’ve chosen David over her.  She says she won’t come if David is there. What do we say?   Torn

Dear Torn, When two people have children, they will have a relationship for life, like it or not.  The children’s needs are most important.  Tell Becky, “Dinner is at noon just as planned.  Hope you can make it!”  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Lnda, My husband and Mother dislike each other.  I am caught between them.  Mama picks for information about family, and he responds hatefully.  I am caught between two difficult people.  They complain to me about the other.  I have come to dread Mama’s visits.  Sometimes, I would like to pinch both hands off.  How do you handle two ornery people.

Dear hate it.refuse to get involved,  they probably  won’t notice.