DANIELLE CARSON

• What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.
• What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.
• Why is everyone thirsty at the North Pole? No well.
• What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.
• How did the reindeer learn to play piano? He was elf-taught.
• What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”
• What do you call an old snowman? Water.
• Why shouldn’t you lend money to elves? They’re always short
• Why did the Little Drummer Boy put his drum to bed? It was beat.
• Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.
• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
• What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
• How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.
• What is every parent’s favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
• Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
• How did Joseph and Mary weigh baby Jesus at birth? They had a weigh in the manger.
• Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
• What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
• Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
• What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas song? Soy to the World! 
• Elves use what kind of money? Jingle bills.
• What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
• What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow! 
• What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there’s myrrh.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
• What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia! 
• What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause. 
• What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.
• How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf. 
• What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
• What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
• What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
• Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
• Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs. 
• What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
• What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
• What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
• What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws! 
• Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks! 
• What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
• What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it! 
• What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
• What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
• What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph. 
• What do grapes sing at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly. 
• What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
• What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet! 
• Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey — he’s always stuffed.